Life Since Christmas

I saw this “update” type of post on Carrots N Cake and thought it was a great idea/great way to get back into the blog with a little update.

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I’ve been MIA in life in general the past few weeks with all the holiday craziness. Truthfully, I just wanted a moment to not worry about anything and just relax with my family and friends.

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I was off work for two weeks (well, I went in for two quick mornings, but it didn’t really feel like “work” because it was such a quick drop in).

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Another thing I wanted to do? Recharge my self control. Uhh…yea.

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I recently read an article about this supposed theory that self control/willpower actually has a lifespan. Think like batteries, you can use up the power but it can’t go on forever, you actually have to “recharge” it. And if you’re sitting there thinking, “ok, Lindsay, and how the hell do I ‘recharge my self control’, lay around like a slug and binge eat oreos?” Yea. Kind of.

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You actually do want to take some time off from being so damn hard on yourself and let your body/mind/everything just chill out. If that means sitting on the couch for a few days, so be it. The article mentioned that recharging your self control could be as simple and quick as indulging in a donut. Or it could take a lot longer and/or not even be food related. I guess it’s different for everyone because essentially this is all in our heads seeing as it’s just a theory that I have never heard of before and just randomly found on the internet via Facebook. #crediblesources

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Anyway, real, fake or whatthefuckever, the article really did strike a nerve with me. And freak me the EFF out (I’m not sure why I just censored I curse word I just typed a sentence ago…roll with it). I sat on the train with my cell phone in hand on the verge of a panic attack, feeling like OH MY GOD I’VE WASTED IT! My willpower is gone, no wonder I’ve [in my psychotic mind] “let myself go” and it’s only going to get WORSE!

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Nah….I’m good. I just needed to recharge.

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It totally makes sense to me. When I’m on, I’m ON. I’ve always been an all or nothing type person so when I’m watching my diet, working out, being organized, functioning like adult, whatever it may be I go all out. Same goes where if I slip up, I roll with the slip up for the rest of the week.

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Ever heard that saying “If you get one flat tire, would you go slash the other three? No, you’d fix the one and keep moving”.

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Nope. I wouldn’t slash the other three, but I would probably leave my car on the road for someone else to deal with and go eat a cookie because it’s all over anyway and I can’t deal.

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SOOO, long story short I have RELAXED for the past 2-3ish weeks, guilt free. I’ve skipped the gym simply because I felt like it but I’ve also gone and sweated it out because I felt like it. I ate egg whites when I wanted to and I ate chocolate when I wanted to. For the first time, maybe ever, I didn’t binge after one bad bite. I was totally fine with having a cookie after lunch and then having a salad for dinner. Was I as active or healthy as I normally am? No..but was I totally off the wagon? No. I felt pretty balanced. Now I realize, I just had to recharge. I had to allow myself to not worry, not care and not beat myself up and I realized I still did most of the things I normally “make” myself do simply because I wanted to.

Today was my first day..back? Unplugged? Charged? I’m not sure how to put it but it was my first day back from my recharge. I’m ready to back to the little rules I’ve set for myself: the to do lists, the workout regimen, the specific meals at specific times, the cleaning schedules, etc. Of course I’ll recharge at the end of the week and loosen up on the weekends but that doesn’t mean I have to go be the opposite of disciplined, it just means listening to my body/mind/etc.

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Have you ever “recharged”? I’ve done it a few times throughout my adult life but never actually realized I was doing it.

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In actuality it has always immensely freaked me out because I felt hopeless and out of control, like I’d lost my self will/self discipline and would never get it back! For the first time I’ve been ok with it and realize that I haven’t lost a thing.

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xoxo